(note: Normally, I only update this
section of my website once a year, but this
entry proved to be pretty amusing, so I'm going
to include it here as an addendum to my annual
update for 2005 "This
Is A Man's World." (below
this article on the same page))
Another
Asterisk Earring for Every Trans* Girl (sep
7, 2005)
It is true that the asterisk in trans*
is purported to be an umbrella for all who
fall under it, whether you see yourself
as a transgender, transsexual, or transvestite.
But what happens when there is a category
that prefixes trans? It has only
recently come to attention that there’s
a group I shall refer to as the PotentialTrans.
They are theoretical trans girls who have
only lived as such in their minds. One is
tempted to ask, can a person be a concert
pianist without having ever played the piano?
Would we believe Paul Gaugin if he said
he was an actor? Well, if Tom Cruise can
show that it’s never to late to go
straight, everyone deserves a chance. Still,
I think another asterisk is waiting to attach
itself like matching earrings to the trans*
umbrella.
Leave it to the cantankerous transgirl to
wail for ornamentation!
Alright, here you are: *trans*
I know I know, it’s horrible to generalize
and categorize. Oftentimes though, things
recur with such startling consistency that
you have to wonder whether life is nothing
but an infinite loop of ground hogs packed
into that train that never leaves Willoughby.
Two particular scenarios seem to beleaguer
the trans girl like a helpless child tugging
at one end of her feather boa. In fact,
I see examples of these instances littered
all over newsgroups, yahoo groups, community
postings, and profiles like the lesser attractive
sibling of Spam. If transvestites are regarded
as bratwurst in the transgender community,
certainly, the following variety is generally
agreed upon as Potted Meat Product.
If any of my gentle readers should fall
into this, I hope this entry goes a little
way in explaining why you’ve met with
radio silence in your internet solicitations.
*Trans #1. "Dress
Me Up In Your wardrobe and teach
me how to be a girly girl"
Perhaps it got lost in translation: maybe
it happens on some other side of a remote
ocean. But I have never, to this day, met
a transvestite/crossdresser/or trans* person
who didn’t frown with disgust when
I bring up this character study in conversation.
Obviously, the fact that the defendant solicits
help shows exactly how little he knows about
the chores surrounding maintaining a wardrobe,
purchasing new outfits, learning about makeup,
and the brutality of erasing nagging traces
of masculinity. Why oh why (I barely stay
one repetition ahead) do you guys continue
to entertain the notion that a girl would
desire an utter stranger jamming
their bodies into her most precious and
intimate clothes? Most transvestites understand
the importance of tactile bliss in donning
the unmistakably more delicate fabric of
women’s apparel. How, I ask, could
they possibly return to Eden with apple
between teeth?
If this remains unclear, then allow me to
elucidate with a similar situation.
Let’s say you’re sitting down
in your favourite restaurant, ready to consume
a delightful meal. As the dish is presented
for your eagerly anticipated consumption,
suddenly in walks a man you have never seen
in your entire life. He comes over, sits
himself down, and makes this simple request:
“Can I put a few morsels of that delicious
fare you have in front of you in my mouth?
I’ll then take it out of my mouth
and put it back on your plate, and then
you can eat it. Teach me how to love cuisine!”
I empathize with the notion that one has
to start somewhere, don’t get me wrong.
Just start over there please.
*Trans #2 The boyfriend
who really wanted to try on your dresses
If there’s such a thing as a gateway
fetish, it’s probably spearheaded
by that boyfriend who always made out passionately
with your red dress, minus you in it. Things
to look out for:
telltale sign 1) When
you go shopping, not only does he insist
on coming along, but you literally have
to drag him away from an engaging discussion
of the whalebone corset with the Victoria
Secret salesgirl.
telltale sign 2) On your
first date, he asked you what size you wear,
before sticking a tailor's measuring tape
in your hand and asking you to ‘do
him.’
telltale sign 3) His idea
of the sexiest pick-up line is “I
bet that dress makes a lot of noise in the
dryer.”
I would hate to see girls embark on a relationship
without realizing that they are being coveted
for their closet, not for who they are.
Thankfully, there are a number of things
you can do to combat these devastating cases.
antidote 1) Come right
out and ask him early on: “Have you
ever tried on girls’ dresses? Would
you be interested to?”
antidote 2) Make sure
there is a differential "cushion"
of three sizes between you and your boy,
in either direction.
antidote 3)Padlock your
closets when he comes to town. Retain that
all alluring mystery that is femininity
and tell him to go work on a gearbox for
a 440 Chevy big block if he really wants
to get in touch with his trans side!
( note: There are several curious
realizations about the male-to-female transvestite
community that have revealed themselves to
me this year. Living and understanding the
transvestite lifestyle is very similar to
composing a murder mystery novel in reverse:
You are at the scene of the crime, you just
have to figure out how and why things happened
that led up to that moment.
I find that living my part-time transvestite
lifestyle (a redundancy since trans in
this instance, denotes a constant state of
motion across borders) since the age of seven,
has been a process of discovery. The path
is often labyrinthine, and the correct combination
towards the finishing entrance is as mysterious
as the first time I had been informed of the
existence of an exit.
Again, this page is part of my ongoing investigation
into the clues. Thanks to all who have been
persistent in writing, communicating, and
dropping me notes. It keeps me vigilant on
posting and maintaining this section of the
my website.)
This year's installment begins with a series
of six panels, in order of increasing complexity.
ALL WRITTEN MATERIAL
WITHIN THIS PAGE IS COPYRIGHT © 2005 Pristine
Ann Gee (Pristine@d332.com) All Rights Reserved.
No portion of this page can be duplicated,
distributed, or reproduced electronically
or in print without the Author's consent.
1. If you label yourself a transvestite,
you are asking for sex.
It's all in the way you bait the hook. Since
transvestism is a clinical term used in psychological
case studies for sexual variance and deviance,
not only does the dresser associate the woman's
clothes with sexual pleasure, but so does
her suitor. It's self-perpetuating.
Heterosexual men have invented the simulacra
that implies when someone dresses a certain
way, they are asking for sex. Since transvestism
is a hyper-heterosexual realm, where gender
is reduced to absurd extremes, it comes as
no surprise that each group will amplify the
respective role they have chosen.
I personally have no problems with liking
sex...thank heavens. But I like to see the
stars when I am on my back staring to the
skies. A man who thinks sex is all there is
to sex is probably lacking in means. All that
surrounds and leads up to the sexual act is
as important as the physical act itself. Eroticism
is suggestion, a scent, the way someone moves,
the way a body curves, a wrinkle. The way
a head hangs in the afternoon shadows. The
trace of a coffee cup ring. A memory.
A disappointed gentleman-caller recently
griped to me: "I thought all transvestites
were passionate."
And to this I answered: "No, it is all
undiscriminating fishermen who are poorly
fed."
click here to get back
to the top
2. The illusion is broken when a man asks a woman
about her genitalia, before the first date.
Courtship among transvestites and their admirers
tend to sound like a medical examination:
"Are you on hormones?" "Do
you have any implants?" "Have you
had any surgery?" "Are you full
time?"
Tender is the moonlit night when a strummed
guitar should accompany a voice beneath my
balcony, intoning" "What are the
current results of a full panel MRI scan for
Fibroid and were you able to opt for an Endometrial
Biopsy?"
It's a catch-22 unfortunately. Because there
is so much interchangeability between t* labels
and terminologies, even the well-informed
admirer is not too sure what he'll be getting
when he opens his box of chocolates. It would
be a grand waste of time to do all that wining
and dining only to lead up to a main course
with a missing ingredient. Oktoberfest would
not be oktoberfest without the bratwurst.
On the other hand No proper girl...I REPEAT...NO
PROPER GIRL...ever freely talks about her
genitals to strangers online. Heavens, it's
already considered poor taste to ask a girl
to reveal her weight, and you guys want to
see the blueprint for the plumbing to the
whole estate?
Are you even licensed?
Guys, if you want to ask us whether it's
an innie or outey, then don't complain if
we do decide to let one rip in the middle
of the third quarter, and high five your buddies
(who are over just to see the game - no homoerotic
undertones in malebonding there, god forbid)
with such force that they tip over the keg
and crash into the plasma tv. Because anyway
you dress it, the moment you ask a girl about
her body parts before the first date, the
illusion is broken and it ceases being about
a man and a woman: It becomes just two guys
talking about sex.
click here
to get back to the top
3. The Paradox of Transvestism
The greatest barrier transvestites AND their
admirers complain about is the tendency to
play games, tell lies, and not come through.
If you look at the logical paradox proposed
by the Cretan prophet Epimenides in the 6th
century BC: Should you believe a fellow from
Crete when he says "All statements made
by Cretans are false"? If you were to
believe what he says, then you can't possibly
believe what he says.
Every transvestite suffers the same paradox
with her suitor: Because the union is founded
on a presupposed lie (A man pretending to
be a woman), the tranny chaser feels he is
at liberty to make up any story and every
promise. He will defend, "After all,
if the transvestite is pretending, isn't it
just fair that I be allowed to pretend and
lie as well?"
Or the more common unstated contract: "How
dare you judge me on cheating behind my wife's
back when there's five pairs of your boobs
on Ebay?!"
No relationship has ever maintained equilibrium.
If a woman gets the temporary upper
hand and a man has to work for it, then that
sounds pretty much like the standard straightforward
rules of engagement in mainstream culture
to me. If you can't hang with these rules,
I know a few guy friends who would be more
than happy to show you the way.
Every girl appreciates an admirer. No girl,
not even a man in a girl's dress, appreciates
another man who can't make good on his word.
It is true that coquetry is a feminine artform
that is enjoyed by women in the antiquated
age that transvestites seem to want to return
to. But such practices only blossom when they
are dovetailed by the chivalry expected of
men from their end of the agreement.
click here to get back to the top
4. The Importance of Passing
I have written extensively on the topic of
Passing. Passing is really nothing but another
word for assimilation. As a transplanted,
foreign-born transvestite trying to exist
in a transgender culture (where many look
down on transvestites) who does not fall neatly
into either categories and refuses to be bullied
obediently into either one, and openly admits
to his homosexuality (where gays look down
on transgender) surrounded by Western heterosexual
homophobic trans-ignorant society, I guess
you can say that I have a grand-unified theory
of assimilation and passing. I'm not seeing
the big picture of prejudism.
I'm seeing the entire museum.
I have only recently unraveled the modus
operandi behind passing among transvestites.
A transvestite relies heavily on the returns
provided by her mirror when at home. When
she goes out in public, a great part of the
desire to pass and not be read may
be to avoid harassment and commotion. I think
there is a more complex event taking place,
and it is this: In lieu of the bedroom mirror,
bystanders take up the slack and their glances
become moving mirrors, which the transvestite
passes. No pun intended.
A considerable part of transvestism (as well as several other
trans groups, which will hereby remain unnamed)
is identity. What makes transvestites more
susceptible to identity issues is that they
subscribe to a public conception of femininity.
The moment one chooses this route, one will
always be subservient to public opinion.
Honestly, It has always dumbfounded me how
public opinion, derived from an anonymous
madding crowd, can hold so much weight over
one's idea of the self.
click here
to get back to the top
5. Transvestites and Anonymous Sex
If there are only a few good men for transgender
girls, there are less in the remains of the
day by the time the transvestite shows up.
Transvestites are perceived as people who
get dress up, get horny, consummate a quick
sexual act, and rush back to their daily everyday
"normal" lives. It is the prevailing notion,
so I have no interest in dispelling it, although
I will state here that Many Transvestites,
including myself, Do Not Belong To This Group.
I have said above that both a transvestite and her
suitor equates the simulacra of women's clothing
to sexual excitement. In the seed of this
statement lies the answer to why anonymous
sex seems to surround transvestite culture.
To many transvestites, the feminine identity
is neither furnished from the transvestite's
dressing and makeup skills Or her admirer's
imaginative powers. To many transvestites,
the feminine identity belongs in a communal
cloud, a generic perception and identity forged
in public domain, where anyone who chooses
to can follow or derived from the rules. How
else does one explain the screaming ubiquity
of female personas, lip-synching, and celebrity
impersonations in related trans* cultures?
I can't count the times I've come across transvestites
whose "girl" mode consist of either slut
or mistress.
The woman in a transvestite culture is akin to that
familiar popular song a lounge band plays
to gain the upper hand with their audience.
Once you agree to the terms of this communal
idea of femininity, you are opening the floodgates
to anonymous sex. Why? It is no surprise that
interchangeable parts, the engine of the industrial
age during the '50s, resides in the era that
so many transvestites identify with. As much
as the female identity- as the universal joint-
benefit the transvestite in cutting her work
in half by bridging her female identity to
a familiar cookie-cutter stereotype of woman,
it makes the true gentleman caller among common
tranny chasers forever beyond reach.
Because now, every man is able to move from one girl to another, never noticing the difference for the short span of time they need to be together.
I've always said that transvestite sex is a collusion
between two men to evoke one woman.
This constantly shifting labyrinthine scheme
is the reason why a permanent relationship
seems to be elusive to the transvestite.
click here
to get back to the top
6. Dressing as Traveling
When all is said and done, I think transvestites
enjoy a fantastic advantage in the trans*
culture. When I listen to people in our trans
community lauding the qualities of their coveted
gender, it is always in a tone of adulation
and never-ending reverence. Then they speak
of the traits commonly associated with their
biological gender with an unappreciative dismissive
sigh. The transvestite remains both, and is
neither.
I will admit that quite a few mtf transvestites
work from an absurd caricature of femininity
that seems more like a Victorian era Ladies
Journal...illustrated by Salvador Dali. Some
critics have accused what we do as a form
of latent misogyny. Instead of attempting
to understand a mtf transvestite from a political
standpoint, I ask, why not look at it as an
act of creation?
Since a transvestite is in a constant state
of flux, no binary system or absolute gender
is being represented. Therefore, no absolute
or existing gender can be misrepresented.
It is transvestism's creative act of dreaming
a person into being that holds the greatest
allure to me.
I have often said that to travel is not
to see a different place. To travel is to
return from visiting a faraway land and see
your home in a different light.
The transvestite is the only group that can
stay suspended in the tightrope act between
the two countries.
click here
to get back to the top
ALL WRITTEN MATERIAL
WITHIN THIS PAGE IS COPYRIGHT © 2005 Pristine
Ann Gee (Pristine@d332.com) All Rights Reserved.
No portion of this page can be duplicated,
distributed, or reproduced electronically
or in print without the Author's consent.